Rites of passage into Manhood – with Darren Christopher Deogee

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 59:40 — 68.3MB)

In a world of ever increasing man-bashing and overwhelming feminism it has never been more important to define manhood and to establish easy to recognise pathways to achieving it. Our current Western culture offers no guidance in what it means to be a man, let alone how to achieve it. This needs to change.

What are Rites of Passage?

I personally had no effective role models for manhood within my family as I grew up. And I saw the classic super-hero being replaced by the anti-hero in modern film culture. I grew up drifting into my twenties with no cultural rite of passage bar my eighteeth birthday when I became an adult in the eyes of the UK legal system. I had no clue what rites of passage were, or what it meant to be a man.

This weeks discussion in Episode 56 of “Living outside the Matrix” is aimed at addressing this lack of cultural awareness of the male role and the need for a conscious transition from boyhood into manhood. It aims to define rites of passage get us all thinking about what may constitute effect rites of passge.

The Gender Mender

Chris Deogee has been studying what it means to be a man for over 20 years, and has a wealth of experience to share both as a speaker and as a personal coach and consultant. This week he offers his refreshing insights in a discussion on ‘Rites of Passage’ into manhood.

Darren Describes the current context as Gynocentric and offers the female rite of passage of becoming a mother as a prime example of how when girls become mothers and boys become men it is about seeing themselves differently and being seen by the community differently as they step into the adult role.

He also makes no claim of being an expert in the subject of rites of passage and yet in my view brings much-needed insight to the subject. He spoke of the book Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine: by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillete, that offers four main archetypes of the male. We touched upon these briefly but focused more on darrens background in the Toltec tradition.

What is needed in a Rite of passage?

• Purpose – To feel worthwhile and valued a man needs a purpose. Whether it be his career or a more general goal or mission, the more specific and individualised the better. A rite of passage  should help the young man to find purpose, identify his strengths and name them.
• Happiness – Perhaps it should also seek to bring to conscious consideration the achievement of his own individual happiness in seeking to live an effective life.
• Effectiveness – A rite of passage should ideally  help to ground the young man in his own sense of effectiveness, or seek to dvelop it. At the very least bringing to conscious consideration the notion of seeking to become more and more effective.
• Useful skills – It should help the young male develop his strength and know his weaknesses in line with his sense of purpose as mentined above.
• Rationality – It should aim to emphasis the need for rationality as mns basic survival tool and means of gaining knowledge. Our success in life is alwasy proportional to the degree to which we are rational.
• Self-esteem – The rite of passage should also demonstrate a level of self-esteem. Or again, bring to conscious awareness the need to develop it where it is lacking.

These ideas are currently just food for thought. The development of an appropriate rite of passage is a work in progress. I intend to craft some kind of Model for my own sons as they approach manhood. I will publish my developing ideas here at lawfulrebel.com.

Resources on Rites of Passage

One of the men Darren mentions in the interview is Nick Clements who offers mentoring for men in this area.

Another key resource is The Male Journey website www.malejourney.org offering A 5-day life-changing program for men devised by Richard Rohr OFM which has been undertaken by over 5000 men across the world.

I hope you find this post helpul. As always please feel free to join in the conversation and leave a comment.

I wish you well

Nigel Howitt

Treehouse Farm, August 2018